The Plumb Boss Teaches Me A Lesson
The situation wasn't pretty.— After almost a year of using powerful topical steroid creams for my eczema, I was completely addicted. It wasn't like nicotine or heroine. I wasn't jonesin' for a fix. But I also couldn't go 2 days without one. Fourty-eight hours without steroids left my face looking like an uncooked pepperoni pizza.
At first I thought my eczema was getting worse. The steroids weren't strong enough anymore. I was wrong. What was happening to my face was withdrawal. The steroids were my skin's crack cocaine. I couldn't function without them.
After some terrifying research on Topical Steroid Withdrawal, I cried. And because he wanted to know what I was crying about, my plumber boyfriend did his own Google search for how to detox from steroids.
"Wow," he said, scrolling through search results. "This is terrifying." And I cried harder.
"I'm scared." I said.
"I know," He said. "But this is what you gotta do. It's gonna take time, but you'll get through it. You don't have a choice. You gotta snake it til you make it."
The next day, I quit cold turkey.
For the first month, all my skin fell off. It didn't flake off. It crumbled. Do you wanna see a picture? Brace yourself. This is 24 hours, ONE day worth of skin:
For the next four months, I continued to crumble. My eyes were too swollen to open all the way. My entire body was on fire. I slept with ice packs, as if I were sleeping at all. Oh, and I was as itchy as f*ck. I had to wear cotton gloves so I didn't rip my skin apart with scratching.
Piles of my dead skin coated our house, the floors, the couch, our bed. It was gross. Made worse by the fact that showering was extremely painful. So I only showered once a week. I smelled, and not good.
But my plumber boyfriend never got grossed out.
Because he's a plumber! He's seen grosser sh*t then piles of his girlfriend's dead skin. And as for the smell, when we first started dating, Justin told me that he has a horrible sense of smell. A Darwinian adaptation enabling him to become the PLUMB BOSS he is today.
It took six months and 22 seasons of America's Next Top Model. But my skin has grown back. I am still itchy as f*ck, but getting better every day.
I am grateful for my plumber boyfriend. Who gave me the courage and the patience to do what I had to do.
Because every plumb boss knows, the job takes what it takes. It's done when it's done. And you gotta snake it til you make it.