10 Sexy Reasons to Date a Plumber
Good news, ladies! According to Facebook, there are 2.5 MILLION* men in the United State who are both plumbers AND single.
THE SINGLE GIRL STORY
It’s been a long day. You woke up early, went to work, then the gym. No plans with friends tonight, so you go home, take a shower, and cook dinner for one. Then, you put on some flannel pajamas and snuggle up with a blanket on the couch to watch TV.
But this is 2019! And no one just watches TV anymore. Pushing play on Hulu, you start the episode stream with one thumb, opening your favorite dating app with the other.
You swipe through the no-brainers:
Really ugly. ← SWIPE LEFT
More than 5 years younger. ← SWIPE LEFT
Unemployed. ← SWIPE LEFT
The next guy has a nice smile. You tap into his profile. You’re looking for answers. Two answers, to be exact.
1. How tall is he?
2. What does he do?
But like any single gal, I instinctively went looking for answers.
When he told me he was a plumber, I remember only half-listening, distracted by his charm.—Five years later, I still swoon when I think about the moment I saw that smile for the first time. Plumber, shlumber. Are you gonna kiss me or not? (I actually said that, minus the “plumber, shlumber” part.)
My plumber and I had an instant connection.—A connection I wish for every woman. Every woman deserves a man that loves her as much as she loves him (or maybe a little bit more). Every woman deserves a GOOD man. Every woman deserves a plumber!
THIS IS MY PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
All my single ladies! If you want a good man, SWIPE RIGHT on the plumbers.
“What do plumbers have to offer?” you ask. Girl, please.
10 SEXY REASONS TO SWIPE RIGHT ON A PLUMBER
10. PLUMBERS ARE RESPECTFUL
He knows that raising his voice or walking away won’t solve anything. He can’t act that way with customers so he won’t act that way with you.
9. PLUMBERS ARE GRATEFUL FOR YOUR BEAUTY
He’s a lucky man who gets to come home to you after a long, dirty day. And he knows it.
8. PLUMBERS CAN BUILD ANYTHING
It might take him a minute to figure out how to build it. But he will build it.
7. PLUMBERS CAN FIX ANYTHING
It might take him a minute to figure out how to fix it. But he will fix it.—Or he will try his hardest to fix it. If he can’t fix it, it can’t be fixed.
6. PLUMBERS ARE EXCELLENT DRIVERS
He is patient in traffic because there is nothing he can do about it anyway. He can flip the bitch on a dime. And he looks real good when he backs it in.
5. PLUMBERS ARE STRONG
He carries and moves heavy things for you. And he opens that bottle of nail polish when it’s shellacked shut. Plus, he’s got really nice arms.
4. PLUMBERS DON’T GIVE UP UNTIL THE JOB IS DONE
Ladies, you know what I’m talking about. He loves to make you happy. He’s not giving up until he… opens that bottle of nail polish.
3. PLUMBERS HAVE NICE PLUMBING
His house is hooked up with fixtures and filters. And he shows he loves you with the fancies feature—the SoftClose toilet seat.
2. PLUMBERS REMAIN CALM IN STRESSFUL SITUATIONS
He focuses on solutions, not problems. He help you do the same.
1. PLUMBERS ARE IN THE CASH FLOW
Plumbing is technology- AND recession-proof. Alexa can’t snake a drain. Siri says, “tough sh*t,” when the toilet’s clogged. Customers will always need him. And NOTHING IS SEXIER THAN A MAN IN DEMAND.😉
*This number may be inaccurate, as I do not actually know how to use Facebook to learn that information. I’m sure it’s possible though! If you know how to find out how many single plumbers there are in the U.S., please contact us on Instagram @myboyfriendiaplumber!